It's true. She did. I was going to go the sappy love song route, too, but she got there before me. I can't really complain, though: the Valentine's Day thing was out there just waiting to be capitalized upon. And it's not like there aren't, like, seven million sappy love songs I could've chosen from that wouldn't have overlapped the five she chose.
But let's face it. Two posts in a row with the same theme is boring. So I, thinking on my feet, decided to shake things up a bit and go for the diametric opposite.
This Week: Stalker Anthems
There are more of these than you realize. It really wasn't difficult finding three to throw in here. (Well, okay, four. "Gallery Piece" wasn't on the original lineup, but ... sorry, yeah, I had to.) And most impressively, I'll have you note, none of them are "Every Breath You Take." Because seriously, everyone's heard that one. It's the classic stalker anthem of all-time, and a great song, but really. I'd blogcast Kevin Barnes over Sting any day. I know he'd do the same for me. Plus lots of other things I will not go into.
Sarah McLachlan - "Possession" (mp3|4.26MB)
Chicks can be stalkers too. (This is the kind of statement I like to build up to by giving examples of male stalkerism first, but Ms. McLachlan's name unfortunately comes first alphabetically, so now I just look like a douche.) I must admit, however, that if in addition to stalking me they could also bust out the instruments and play a song as lovely as "Possession," I'd probably be sold. Too bad, with my luck, I'd probably end up getting stalked by, like, Bjork instead. But yeah: Sarah McLachlan seriously makes stalking sound completely un-creepy and even vaguely pleasurable. For both parties. It's a gorgeous song. They even play it on the radio sometimes, if you can believe that.
(from the 1993 album Fumbling Towards Ecstacy)
The National - "Brainy" (mp3|4.53MB)
This song is deceptive, you see, because it takes you completely by surprise. All of The National's songs sound fundamentally similar, so -- at least in the context of Boxer (a fine album, by the way, but you knew this) -- you're expecting "Brainy" to be another late-night urban lament just like its on-album predecessors "Fake Empire" and "Mistaken for Strangers." But it's not. Listen to what he's singing. That shit about the fingerprints? That's disturbing as hell. I bet you didn't realize such a soft-spoken, lovely song could be so unnerving. But it can. And trust me, you'll never listen to it the same way again.
(from the 2007 album Boxer)
Of Montreal - "Gallery Piece" (mp3|5.42MB)
No doubt the textbook example of pathological romantic obsession in modern pop music. I can't decide whether it's creepy or hilarious. Considering this man is singing it, maybe the answer is evident.
(from the 2008 album Skeletal Lamping)
Porcupine Tree - "Blackest Eyes" (mp3|6.03MB)
When people go nuts for Porcupine Tree, this is why. I like them. I think they're a good band. But man, they can be ridiculously overrated by some people. "Blackest Eyes" reassures me for four minutes that, yes indeed, there is something to all this giant praise. For one thing, it features just about the most seamless and wholly appropriate integration of metal influences into a straightforward pop structure I can think of. It's a song about a stalker/serial killer, right, so it makes sense that he's going to be pleasant and charismatic one moment, and violently off-the-rails the next. The music mirrors this to perfection, and the result is both intense and unforgettable. If all their songs were this good, they really would be the best band in the world.
(from the 2002 album In Absentia)
'Til next week! Yes, I'll be here. I promise. Stop following me.
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