15 February 2009

the sunday superlative - 2/15/09

This Week: Lea Stole My Theme



It's true. She did. I was going to go the sappy love song route, too, but she got there before me. I can't really complain, though: the Valentine's Day thing was out there just waiting to be capitalized upon. And it's not like there aren't, like, seven million sappy love songs I could've chosen from that wouldn't have overlapped the five she chose.

But let's face it. Two posts in a row with the same theme is boring. So I, thinking on my feet, decided to shake things up a bit and go for the diametric opposite.

This Week: Stalker Anthems

There are more of these than you realize. It really wasn't difficult finding three to throw in here. (Well, okay, four. "Gallery Piece" wasn't on the original lineup, but ... sorry, yeah, I had to.) And most impressively, I'll have you note, none of them are "Every Breath You Take." Because seriously, everyone's heard that one. It's the classic stalker anthem of all-time, and a great song, but really. I'd blogcast Kevin Barnes over Sting any day. I know he'd do the same for me. Plus lots of other things I will not go into.

Sarah McLachlan - "Possession" (mp3|4.26MB)
Chicks can be stalkers too. (This is the kind of statement I like to build up to by giving examples of male stalkerism first, but Ms. McLachlan's name unfortunately comes first alphabetically, so now I just look like a douche.) I must admit, however, that if in addition to stalking me they could also bust out the instruments and play a song as lovely as "Possession," I'd probably be sold. Too bad, with my luck, I'd probably end up getting stalked by, like, Bjork instead. But yeah: Sarah McLachlan seriously makes stalking sound completely un-creepy and even vaguely pleasurable. For both parties. It's a gorgeous song. They even play it on the radio sometimes, if you can believe that.
(from the 1993 album Fumbling Towards Ecstacy)

The National - "Brainy" (mp3|4.53MB)
This song is deceptive, you see, because it takes you completely by surprise. All of The National's songs sound fundamentally similar, so -- at least in the context of Boxer (a fine album, by the way, but you knew this) -- you're expecting "Brainy" to be another late-night urban lament just like its on-album predecessors "Fake Empire" and "Mistaken for Strangers." But it's not. Listen to what he's singing. That shit about the fingerprints? That's disturbing as hell. I bet you didn't realize such a soft-spoken, lovely song could be so unnerving. But it can. And trust me, you'll never listen to it the same way again.
(from the 2007 album Boxer)

Of Montreal - "Gallery Piece" (mp3|5.42MB)
No doubt the textbook example of pathological romantic obsession in modern pop music. I can't decide whether it's creepy or hilarious. Considering this man is singing it, maybe the answer is evident.
(from the 2008 album Skeletal Lamping)

Porcupine Tree - "Blackest Eyes" (mp3|6.03MB)
When people go nuts for Porcupine Tree, this is why. I like them. I think they're a good band. But man, they can be ridiculously overrated by some people. "Blackest Eyes" reassures me for four minutes that, yes indeed, there is something to all this giant praise. For one thing, it features just about the most seamless and wholly appropriate integration of metal influences into a straightforward pop structure I can think of. It's a song about a stalker/serial killer, right, so it makes sense that he's going to be pleasant and charismatic one moment, and violently off-the-rails the next. The music mirrors this to perfection, and the result is both intense and unforgettable. If all their songs were this good, they really would be the best band in the world.
(from the 2002 album In Absentia)

'Til next week! Yes, I'll be here. I promise. Stop following me.

14 February 2009

friday five - 13/14.02.09 - happy love-or-whatever day

All right, let's get this out of the way first: I know I suck. It's okay, really. I've come to terms with this, and am currently seeking therapy for this very personal difficulty. Consider it, dear readers, a symptom of the fame and arrogance I've acquired over the past few months.

Hey! Why're you laughing?

In all seriousness, though, you've been jipped out of several Fridays' worth of music. I'm really sorry. You know what bites even more? I only have the typical five songs for you this week. I didn't include any bonuses. (Mainly because the internet I have has decided to take a few rides on the short bus.) But the selection I've chosen includes some really great stuff (see, there's that arrogance again), and hopefully quality will win over quantity. Because that decision is a lot easier to make when beer isn't involved.

Oh, yeah. It's St. Valentine's Day tomorrow today, dammit. So, uh, the theme is like, love-related. Or something. God, I can't wait for the post V-Day discount chocolates. HUZZAH. I'M GONNA EAT MYSELF SICK.





Cut/Copy - "Hearts on Fire" (mp3|4.46MB): Considering the fact that I recently saw the accompanying video to this lovely track (and was subsequently filled with glee), I had to post this. It's relevant! And it's sweet. Aw. Not to mention, of course, the unquestionable awesomeness of this band altogether (OH, by the way, I might see them in March; aren't you jealous). You know what? I could have put any Cut/Copy song here regardless of whether or not it had anything to do with love, and you wouldn't have cared one iota. Come on, admit it.

VHS or Beta - "Love in My Pocket" (mp3|2.95MB): We slowly begin the electronic fade out, moving from very heavy electronica influences to a subtler variety of this particular musical species by the notable VHS or Beta. The cheetah hunts for days, consumed with hunger. If she doesn't find suitable prey soon, she and her cubs will die. (Sorry, just noticed the similarity in expository structure.) Anyway, I was addicted to this album - Bring on the Comets, for anyone curious and unaware, yes, my minions, go forth - for a month straight in 2007, so now you have to suffer the consequences. Have fun.

White Whale - "I Love Lovely Chinese Gal" (mp3|4.10MB): There is absolutely no way, from here on out, that I can compensate for the intense nerdery that accompanies this posting. White Whale both excretes and absorbs coolness, sorta like osmosis in a cellular wall. I feel so cool for liking White Whale, but that coolness stems from a socially secluded kind of nerd-cool that only hardcore uncool people like me seem to appreciate. Anyway, have a song that sounds like it was recorded in a fish tank. The love abounds.

My Bloody Valentine - "When You Sleep" (mp3|1.67MB): Busy, slightly distorted, and highly rockin', My Bloody Valentine's Loveless is the perfect album to play on St. Valentine's Day - if only for this track, and if only for the opening lyric: "When I look at you / Oh, I don't know what I feel." You can apply that in so many different directions. I won't say what it means to me. Catch that on the next Maury.

The Cure - "Friday I'm in Love" (mp3|2.95MB): Awwwww. You guys know why I chose this one. It's Friday! (Or, it WAS Friday before I typed this. You're probably reading this on a Saturday. GUYS, I'M TRYING.) For all intents: Friday, I'm in love. With you! Not in the creepy way, but in the obsessive I-hope-it's-mutual and/or I-hope-they-don't-kill-me-in-my-sleep and/or I-hope-they-still-like-me sort of way. You know. Because I still have all of those weed emotions that grow in high school. And the Cure will always rock. And I'm an internet whore. And I stalk you. Okay, maybe this is the creepy kind of love. But you like it.

Anyway, that's it! EAT CANDY.

<3,
Lea (FFR, soon to be banish-ed from her own kingdom)


As always, send lovemail/hatemail/anymail related to the Friday Five to fridayfiveradio@gmail.com. Requests are always considered and welcomed. See you next week!

08 February 2009

the sunday superlative - 2/8/09

This Week: Harmonica Highlights



Ladies and gentlemen, it's time we faced a sad fact that has been plaguing the musical world for quite some time: there is not equality among instruments. Not all are held in the same esteem, not all are regarded with the same amount of reverence. Oh sure, you've got your almighty guitar and your keyboards and bass and hifalutin drums, but what about the so-called "lesser" instruments? What has happened to them?

I'll come to the point: the harmonica gets a bad rap. In the social hierarchy of musical instruments, it's one step above the kazoo. And while many people will stick to their guns and continue hating it, I insist that it is merely misunderstood. Well, tonight all this is going to stop. I have brought out three songs (Lea roughed me up in the gym and told me that if I exceeded my limits again, I would pay in what she calls "moderately important body parts"; she also took my lunch money) that not only accentuate the harmonica's importance within the structure of a popular song, but in some cases suggest that it may even be an integral element.

We start with an obvious choice.

Culture Club - "Karma Chameleon" (mp3|3.90MB)
I fully expect this to get zero downloads (yes, I do monitor this, so if you ever want to make me feel REALLY good about myself, download something twice). Not because it's bad or because you know all about Thing George and his old band, but because you have it already. Come on. Let's face it. You love this song. You love everything about it. You love how catchy it is. You love how rebellious you feel when you dance to it while no one's around. And, most of all, you love that damn harmonica.
(from the 1983 album Colour By Numbers)

Doves - "Rise" (mp3|5.13MB)
2009 is, at least in conventional numeric terms, the end of a decade (yeah yeah there was no year zero stfu). This means that, come December, I -- the compulsive listmaker -- will be faced with the unenviable task of ranking my favorite songs of the decade. Luckily for me, the job has been made 1/25 easier, because I'd say there's a very strong chance Doves' gorgeous, ethereal "Rise" will find its way onto the list somewhere. Maybe it's just the fact that the first time I ever heard it was on a lonely summer night back in '07, but this more than any other song I can think of perfectly captures that lonely summer night feeling. It's haunting, it's lovely, and it has one of the most legitimately tasteful harmonica solos I have ever heard. Seriously, the harmonica elevates the song; it would certainly not be as good without it. The solo is so perfectly placed, so seamlessly integrated, that I honestly didn't even hear it the first few times. It's just a necessary extension of the music. It's an asset. "Rise" singlehandedly makes the case for the harmonica as an acceptable musical entity. And, yeah, it's also a fantastic song.
(from the 2000 album Lost Souls)

Bob Dylan - "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" (mp3|15.57MB)
Ah, but of course. Mr. Zimmerman is the king of the harmonica. I had to include him. But he gets a bad rap, too. Sure, he's an icon and all that, but I get the feeling these days that he's more iconic for being "that batshit son of a bitch" than for being a true musician. True, he probably is insane; and yes, he does have the most distinctive (read: highly irritating -- yes, even I think so) voice ever put to tape. But that doesn't mean he wasn't a prodigious talent in his time. "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands," while not among his super-famous songs, may be the finest thing he ever wrote. Written for his wife, it's a love ballad that quite simply puts most other love ballads to shame. And if you think it's too long, that it drags, that he should've somehow edited it down: I'm sorry, but you're wrong. It's just so good.
(from the 1966 album Blonde on Blonde)

(If you really want a fourth song, though, check out The Beatles' "I Should Have Known Better." I'm sure it's in your personal library already. Anything by the Fab Four is wonderful, of course, and it's also one-fourth the length of "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands." So there.)

... aaaaand I'll see you folks next week!

01 February 2009

the sunday superlative - 2/1/09

This Week: Super Bowl Halftime: Alternate Programming



I don't know if you knew this, but the Super Bowl is today. I know! Crazy, right? I just found out, too. Naturally, this entails Super Bowl-ish things: millions of flickering TV screens, almost as many parties, countless bowls overflowing with Doritos, and -- of course -- the reason why everyone tunes in in the first place: the fast-paced excitement, the adrenaline-pumping promise of physical injury as a devotion to one's craft, that slow-motion moment when it appears if only for a fleeting instant that all of your dreams for the evening may come true.

I am, of course, referring to the halftime show. At least, most years. But let's face it, folks: I disapprove this year. I'm not the biggest fan of The Boss. Yeah, sure, maybe he was born to run in the U.S.A. (in which case, why doesn't he take the field like a man?), but that's boring. More than likely, people are going to get up, stretch out, and leave the room.

So I envisioned a "what if?" scenario. What if I had been allowed to schedule the halftime show? How would I have filled those fifteen minutes? Well, may you wonder no more. By the powers vested in me, the following four songs (yes, I did four again -- maybe one of these weeks I'll learn my limits) would be performed by their respective artists in this order. I tend to be a modest guy, but I hasten to state that I am positive that, were this reality, America would not only stay firmly rooted in front of their TVs, but it would be far and away the most memorable and perhaps enjoyable stretch of the entire evening. So take heed, 2010 Super Bowl programmers. I would not mislead you.

Electric Six - "Dance Commander" (mp3|3.59MB)
Ours is a festive culture. We love to party, and dancing is in our blood. However, we're also hard workers: we earn our lazy Sunday evenings kicking back with friends, popping a beer, and watching the game. From my experience, once you're on the couch, you're on the couch. This is exactly why the halftime show is a perfect venue for the dance commander. Sometimes a person can't merely be talked into embracing his or her inherent dancing nature; sometimes, dammit, they just need to be commanded. Halftime is not an opportunity to get up, piss, stretch out, or get more hot wings; it's a time to bust a move. Were this to happen, I'd second the words of Dick Valentine to a tee: IT WOULD BE AWESOME.

Kelly - "Shoes" (mp3|2.53MB)
It's really just baby steps from Carrie Underwood to this. Let's not forget that women watch the Super Bowl, too, and that this enthusiastic endorsement of red-white-and-blue feminine consumerism would be heartily welcomed. Its accompanying YouTube video has spent two and a half years with "instant classic" status attached to it; this internet popularity is, if anything, the perfect signifier for a warm reception at the greatest of all American sporting events.

Styx - "Mr. Roboto" (mp3|4.36MB)
There's something undeniably beguiling about imagining this song being performed in front of millions upon millions of viewers. Seriously, imagine it as you listen. You'll see what I mean.

Team America OST - "America, Fuck Yeah" (mp3|1.93MB)
Super Bowl programmers are always looking for the ideal candidate to whip the crowd into a huge, patriotic frenzy. Why else would they book Bruce Springsteen? Well, I'll tell you what: no song in the past five years has made me feel as patriotic or as proud to be an American as Trey Parker's exuberant declaration of United States awesomeness. It's the sort of song so infectious, so utterly inspiring, that you not only find yourself shouting along with it immediately, but actually adding to it once it's over. While driving, for instance: "Subway; FUCK YEAH! Walgreens; FUCK YEAH! Stop light; FUCK YEAH!" It just makes you so damn happy to be alive in America in the 21st century, and I think more people need the feeling bestowed upon them.

See you next time, folks. Have fun tonight! I know I will. Probably bust out a favorite film or something.